Sometimes dementia works for you and some times it doesn't

I admit, I should not have teased my mother about getting a Mohawk haircut before I took her to the hairdresser. Even if she had no idea of what a Mohawk was, it did create an alarming reaction. She is so fearful of looking like a man. She always had such a great sense of humor and when she seems almost there, I tend to think she IS back to her old self and I tease her. Mean. Not productive.
So, we arrive at the hairdresser's and I assure Bea she can tell the woman exactly what she wants and the hairdresser will do it. I escort Mom to the chair, convinced that only 1inch will be clipped. Ahhh! Thank God for AC and lots of magazines to peruse. It's about 90 degrees outside. What a wonderful break. Haircut done already? I go to help her up from the chair, the hairdresser says, "She told me she would KILL me if I cut too much..." I look on the floor, - no hair. Her head looks exactly the same.... I forgot to tell the hairdresser she has Alzheimer's. What did that woman think?.....
That will be $35.00 please.....
On the way out the door she remarked to an older man, "Aren't you handsome? I bet your wife loves you?"
He had NO IDEA that she was out of it.. Yet he appreciated her compliment.
Sometimes dementia works for you and sometimes it doesn't.

NOTE FROM GRANDPA May 17,2010

Helping Mom get undressed for bed, I noticed a tissue sticking out of her bra. I pulled it out.

"Don't touch my body!" she exclaimed.

"I just pulled a tissue from your bra." I answered.

"It could be a note... Maybe it's a note from Grandpa. .. It could be something important written on it. You never know. You shouldn't take things without asking."

DIAPER VS LIPSTICK

Well the sign in the bathroom was pointless. We read it together and practiced. Yet every morning when I got up, the sign and diaper were still there. And her diaper was soaked. But she was still wearing it, so the pjs and the bed were still dry.
I wonder if she saw the sign and then wondered ,"Who is "MOM?" Maybe if I put her picture next to the sign. No, that wouldn't work. She would just stare at her photo. So I just decided to let it go and deal with the ocassional accidents. I AM thankful that she does refresh her lipstick before going back to bed. lol.

Monday night dinner

ME: You were always a good cook, Mom. I always loved your Chicken Cacciatore.

BEA: Who taught you to cook?

ME: My mother.

BEA: Does she live close to you?

ME: No, she lives far, far, away. I really miss her. Who taught you to cook?

BEA: My mother. She taught me everything.............Oh no.,....Oh..
I can't remember if my mother is dead or not.

take ME...Take ME April 21, 2010

Mom gets up in the night to go to the bathroom, usually taking her diaper off. She puts her pajamas back on without a clean diaper. There have been three accidents in the bed after that. She's so quiet in the night I don't wake up.

So I found some bells and put them on her door. (These bells sound like the goat bells in the fields of Toiny, St. Barts. God that was the best way to wake up in the first morning of vacation,) Now I dread hearing g the same sound. After about a week of getting up i the middle of the night, needless to say, I was exhausted and crabby. I needed a new plan. She's got to wear a diaper ALL night.

I thought of duck-taping the diaper on til morning - just one ring of tape over the diaper ... or maybe wear the duck-tape as suspenders, but my daughter wanted to know if I was serious. Guess that was a crazy idea.... She suggested I write a note, so here's what I wrote:


MOM,

PUT A CLEAN DIAPER ON
BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO BED


I wrote an arrow on the sign pointing to the diaper hanging next to it. I wrote on the back of the diaper in extra large letters:

TAKE ME


I taped the sign to the towel bar directly in front of the toilet so she would see it when she sat down. We read it together before bed. She said she understood. Trial run last night. I left the bathroom light on instead of just the nightlight.

No good. The wet diaper is in the wast basked and she did not touch the one labeled, TAKE ME. She is still asleep. The health -aid will be here any minute... We will tackle the problem together when she gets here. Maybe that's the way we should deal with this everyday. Get a strong rubber pad and keep washing and bleaching.

How about if I leave her signs on the mirror and on the back of the bathroom door. What should it say so that she will remember to check if she has a diaper on just after reading it?

CHECK YOUR PAJAMAS... ARE YOU WEARING A DIAPER/ YOU SHOULD BE

PUT A CLEAN DIAPER ON

PANTIES ON?

DO YOU WANT TO WET THE BED? WEAR A DIAPER

DANGER! DON'T LEAVE THIS AREA WITHOUT WEARING A DIAPER

ONLY PEOPLE WEARING DIAPERS ALLOWED IN BEDROOM

ARE YOU SAFE? WEAR A DIAPER

SAY YES TO DIAPERS

DIAPERS AT NIGHT - ALWAYS

She seems to forget one sentence just after she reads it. How about a cartoon? diagram?photo of herself? - no, she'll just stare at it and smile.

I'll keep trying. There has got to be a way.

ARE YOU WEARING A DIAPER?

ARE YOU MARRIED? APRI 18, 2010

"Do you have a wife?". Bea remarks to my husband as she strokes his arm.

"Would she mind if you had a girlfriend?" Now she is trying to hug and kiss him.

My husband laughs , yet it 's somehow really creepy. And every new day that she sees him she somehow remembers to ask him if he is married. She forgets who I am, yet always seems to remember her feeling for my husband. I never would have thought this would happen in a thousand years. Dinners are now filled with surprise.

MOM'S ALZHEIMER'S TODAY

First of all I'm adding 6 previous blogs because I changed the name of my blogspot.

Mom is 84 - going on 4, no 15, no sometimes I just can't figure it out. The Alzheimer's comes in waves, totally unexpected. Not al all what I imagined. Most days she has no idea who I am at dinner time. She'll look at me preparing dinner and ask, "Where's Lynn? I never see her." (She only lives with my husband and myself 24/7.)
I'll tell her who I am and she will respond with squinty eyes, "Something's funny around here. You're not my daughter..."
Then we go through about 5 minutes of , "Yes, I'm your daughter. You're my mother."
She answers,"You're the mother and I'm the daughter."
"No, no, I'm the daughter.'
"I'm the daughter.."
"No, You're the mother, I'm daughter."
"I'm; the daughter, You're the mother."

OH MY GOD! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?